Don't Let Me Drown

“Don’t Let Me Drown” is about the kind of support I’ve needed during the moments when I’m struggling but don’t necessarily need someone to rescue me. Sometimes I don't need advice. I don't need someone to fix what I'm feeling. I just need someone to notice that I'm not okay and stay beside me while I find my way through it.

I wrote this song about what it feels like to struggle quietly, to smile, function, and make yourself easy enough that nobody realizes how exhausted you actually are underneath it all.

The line, “I don't need fixing, just stay around,” became the heart of this song. Because there's such a difference between being saved and being supported. I don't need someone to carry me. I need presence. Someone who doesn't disappear when things become uncomfortable. Someone who can sit beside difficult emotions without immediately trying to solve them or asking me to make them smaller.

The bridge gets to an even deeper part of it: “I learned to disappear before you could leave. I learned to be easy so you wouldn't see me.” Sometimes when you've experienced enough inconsistency or abandonment, you learn to need people quietly. You hide the parts of yourself you're afraid might become inconvenient. You convince yourself that being easy to love will make people less likely to leave. But eventually, disappearing to keep someone isn't connection either.

That's what “Don't Let Me Drown” means to me. It isn't save me. It's see me. Notice me. Hear me. Stay emotionally present when I'm having a hard time instead of making me wait until I'm easier to be around. The final line says everything I wanted the song to say: “I don't need a hero. I need someone real. Someone who stays when it's hard to feel.” I can save myself. But I don't want to have to disappear in order to be loved.