Going Back Doesn't Re Write My No

[Verse 1] Why did I go back? I’ve asked it every night Like if I found the answer I could somehow make it right

Maybe I let you get too close Maybe I didn’t fight enough Maybe freezing meant I chose it Maybe I should’ve been more tough

I picked apart my every move Found a thousand ways to blame ’Cause if somehow I had caused it I could keep control of the pain

If I was the problem I could change what happened next Easier to blame myself Than admit you chose disrespect

[Pre-Chorus] That I said no I made it clear You heard the words You chose not to hear

I thought next time I’d find a way But I shouldn’t need the perfect no For you to walk away

[Chorus] Going back doesn’t rewrite no Staying doesn’t mean I chose Freezing doesn’t make it yes Giving up doesn’t mean consent

I could miss you, I could want you I could let you through my door I could laugh with you tomorrow It won’t change the night before

I don’t have to prove I fought enough Or show what I went through Going back doesn’t rewrite no And surviving you Doesn’t mean I chose you

[Verse 2] “It was only for a few seconds” That’s the lie that kept me sane Like the clock could make it smaller Like the time could change the pain

If I called it something lesser Maybe I could still pretend That someone I had trusted Hadn’t crossed me in the end

So I sat beside you laughing Like there wasn’t something wrong Kept you close so I could tell myself It couldn’t hurt that strong

Going back was never proof That nothing happened to me Sometimes staying in denial Was the only way to breathe

[Pre-Chorus] I thought next time I’d make you see I’d say it better You would listen to me

But safety isn’t finding Some perfect way to plead If somebody tells you no Then no is all you need

[Bridge] Maybe familiar felt like safety Even when it wasn’t safe Maybe losing the connection Felt like more than I could take

Maybe blaming me felt better ’Cause it gave me some control “If I caused it, I can stop it” Was the lie that kept me whole

Maybe I kept coming back To who I needed you to be Maybe who I thought you were Kept hiding what you did to me

I can wish that I had left you The first time you crossed that line Without turning your decisions Into something that was mine

[Breakdown] I didn’t have to run I didnt have to scream. I didn’t have to hate you. Or understand what you’d done to me.

An unlocked door is not a yes. Another chance is not consent.

And everything I did afterward Cant travel back in time Cant turn my “no” into permission Or make your choices mine.

[Build] So stop asking why I went back Like the answer changes facts Stop measuring my trauma By how perfectly I reacted

Ask why “no” was not enough Ask why you kept pushing through Why is everybody asking What I did— Instead of what you chose to do?

[Final Chorus] Going back doesn’t rewrite no Now I finally know Freezing never made it yes And giving up was not consent

Two things can both be true— I could still feel tied to you And you could still be wrong

[Final Build] I said no when I was shaking I said no before I froze I said no before appeasing I said no— And you still chose

So I’m done collecting reasons Why I should’ve been more tough I don’t need a better ending I don’t need a louder no

I said no.

That was enough.

[Outro] Why did I go back? Now I know that’s not the question.

Going back was my reaction. Crossing it was your decision.

What I did to make it through Doesn’t change what you chose to do.

I said no. You heard me too.

Going back Doesn’t rewrite What you knew.