Scars You Can’t See · Track 06
For when your life looks safe now, but your body is still responding to everything it had to survive.
Inside this song
Why does my body still react like I’m in danger when I know I’m safe now?
Trauma responses can show up even when you consciously know the present moment is different from the past. A trigger, body sensation, memory, or surge of fear can feel confusing when there’s no obvious danger in front of you. That reaction doesn’t need to be visible to other people to feel very real to you.
“You say control it with my mind, But my body’s screaming every time”
For when people see where you are now, but your nervous system still carries echoes of everywhere you’ve had to survive.
Read the full storyLyric sheet
[Verse 1] My body’s in fight or flight, Even when my mind says I’m fine tonight. DNA rewired by the things I’ve seen, They called me ‘Trauma Queen’ on a hospital sheet. You don’t see the scars, you just see the car, Sayin’, ‘What could you even be sad about?’ But you don’t know the nights that I bled, Flatlined four times, awake on the edge.
[Pre-Chorus] You say control it with my mind But my body’s screaming every time. Triggers hidden in a sound, in a color, in a street, And you think it’s that easy just to breathe?
[Chorus] PTSD yeah, it lives in me, Every cell, every bone, every memory. Don’t ask me what I’ve got to be sad about, You want the truth? Then I’ll spell it out. This pain, this fight, it’s my history PTSD, it’s the pulse in me.
[Verse 2] Missed sixth grade, sickness stole my youth, Months went by until the doctors found the proof. Boat accident, blood in the tide, They prepped to take my leg, I never closed my eyes. Watched a baby die in her mama’s embrace, Brother overdosed, house was a war place. Don’t tell me to smile when I’ve lived through war, Every scar you can’t see is another I bore. You say control it with my mind But my brain is fractured, re-designed. Every tick, every loop, every sleepless night, Every trigger pulls me back to fight.
[Chorus] PTSD, yeah, it lives in me, Every cell, every bone, every memory. Don’t ask me what I’ve got to be sad about, You want the truth? Then I’ll scream it out. This pain, this fight, it’s my history PTSD, it’s the pulse in me.
[Verse 3] Watched friends slip away, one took his own life, Another died young while I clung to the fight. Narcissistic abuse left me battered and used, Break-ins, death threats, my brother I feared to lose. Some nights I prayed for my pain to end, But somehow kept breathing again and again. Pulled dogs from the fights, trying to save their lives, Every rescue became another goodbye. You see the smile, but you don’t see the weight, You see the house, but you don’t see the cage. Professional at pushing through, But inside I’m breaking in front of you. It’s not weakness, it’s survival, Every day’s a trial, And if you wore my skin, You’d stop asking why.
[Chorus] PTSD, yeah, it lives in me, Not a phase, not a choice, it’s my legacy. Don’t ask me what I’ve got to be sad about, If you knew the half, you’d never doubt. This pain, this fight, it’s my history PTSD, it’s the pulse in me. PTSD, it beats in me.
About the song
For when your life looks safe now, but your body is still responding to everything it had to survive.
The story behind
I wrote “PTSD” because I got tired of trauma being treated like something I should be able to think my way out of. People can look at my life now and see the good parts. They see the smile, the house, the things I’ve accomplished, the life I’m grateful for, and sometimes assume that means I should be okay. But my body remembers a completely different story. It remembers hospitals, nearly losing my leg, flatlining, loss, fear, instability, violence, grief, and experiences that taught my nervous system that danger could happen without warning. Some of those things happened years ago, but trauma doesn’t always organize itself neatly into then and now.
That’s what I wanted this song to put into words. The line, “You say control it with my mind, But my body’s screaming every time.” became the heart of the song. I can intellectually know that I’m safe in a moment while my body is reacting as though I’m not. A sound, a place, a memory, or some tiny detail can bring something back before I’ve even consciously understood why. My mind can know where I am while my nervous system is still responding to somewhere I’ve already been. And I think that disconnect is one of the hardest things to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it.
I’ve spent a lot of my life becoming very good at functioning while carrying things most people never know are there. I can smile and genuinely be happy. I can be grateful for my life. I can accomplish things, make plans, laugh, love people, have faith, and still have moments when my body needs time to realize the danger has passed. Those things don’t contradict each other.
That’s why comments like “What do you have to be sad about?” can hurt so much. What someone sees in my life today doesn’t tell them everything my mind and body had to survive to get here. This song isn’t asking anyone to feel sorry for me. It’s asking people not to judge a battle they can’t see. And it’s also a reminder to myself that PTSD may explain some of what I experience, but it doesn’t get to become my entire identity. I am still the person underneath all of those survival responses. I still laugh, love, create, dream, pray, and experience real joy. Sometimes the person who looks okay is still fighting very hard to feel safe. I can know I’m safe now and still give my body time to believe me.
Community support room
Step into a gentle conversation about what this song brought up for you. Share your story, listen without judgment, and leave a little hope for someone else.
Save your favorite songs and create your own.
Start a playlist →
Lyric journals, apparel, and more.
Shop now →♡A safe space for real conversations.
You are not alone →