Unsent Letters · Track 33
For when one relationship taught you to brace for chaos and another taught you not to trust the quiet.
Inside this song
How did two relationships that looked completely different leave me questioning love in the same way?
Not every painful relationship looks the same. Obvious conflict can leave one kind of imprint, while emotional distance and uncertainty can leave another. Understanding how each affected you can help you identify what you actually want now: neither chaos nor emotional absence, but safety with connection.
“One broke me loudly One broke me slow One with a hurricane One with a ghost”
For when one relationship taught you to brace for chaos and another taught you not to trust the quiet, leaving you to learn what safe love actually feels like.
Read the full storyLyric sheet
Verse 1 My first love was a wildfire All heat and broken glass Words thrown like knives in the kitchen Echoes I couldn’t outlast Love felt like walking on wire Trying not to ignite Every “too much,” every “crazy” Stuck in my skin at night He’d scream and I would shrink down To fit inside his frame I learned how to apologize For breathing wrong, for my own name
Pre-Chorus When love is loud, it leaves bruises You can almost explain But the ones you can’t see forming Are the ones that stay
Chorus One broke me loudly One broke me slow One with a hurricane One with a ghost One left me shaking One left me still Both left me wondering What love is supposed to feel They felt so different But the ending’s the same Alone in a room Trying to carry the blame
Verse 2 The second love was a whisper No doors slammed in my face Just distance growing silently In invisible space No screaming, no cruel words Just “I don’t know” and retreat Half of him always leaving While I stayed on both feet I begged for simple honesty He begged for room to breathe Silence can bruise just as deeply When you’re the one who believes
Pre-Chorus When love is quiet, it confuses You can’t point to the pain But something in your body Knows it’s not the same
Chorus One broke me loudly One broke me slow One with a hurricane One with a ghost One left me crying One left me numb Both left me feeling Like I was the only one They looked so different But both rearranged The girl that I was And the woman I became
Bridge I spent years rebuilding Learning what was mine Undoing all the damage That wasn’t by design My body held the echoes Of words and of retreat One taught me fear of chaos One taught me fear of peace I’m tired of loving halfway Or loving through a storm I don’t want passion without safety Or quiet that feels cold
Final Chorus I won’t love loudly I won’t love small I won’t chase hurricanes Or beg ghosts to call I want something steady Something sure A love that feels safe And still feels pure If there’s a right one I know he’ll stay Not loud with anger Not quiet with escape
Outro I survived the shouting I survived the hush And I won’t mistake Intensity for trust The next love won’t break me Or leave me guessing alone It’ll feel like being understood And finally being home
About the song
For when one relationship taught you to brace for chaos and another taught you not to trust the quiet.
The story behind
“The Shouting and the Hush” is about realizing that not all unhealthy relationships look or feel the same. My first relationship was loud. The hurt was obvious. There were raised voices, harsh words, criticism, and moments that taught me to walk on eggshells. I learned to monitor the room, make myself smaller, and think carefully about what I said because I never knew what might ignite something. When someone tells you you're “too much” or “crazy” enough times, those words can eventually become part of the way you see yourself. So I thought if I ever found someone who wasn't like that, I would finally know what healthy love felt like. Then I did. Or at least, I thought I had.
The second relationship was completely different. There wasn't constant yelling. There weren't explosive arguments or the same obvious chaos. Instead, there was distance. Silence. Avoidance. “I don't know.” Emotional conversations that never really happened. I kept reaching for closeness while feeling like part of him was always somewhere I couldn't reach. For a long time, I thought quiet meant safe. If nobody was yelling, surely this must be healthier. But eventually I learned that the absence of chaos isn't automatically the presence of emotional safety.
That's where the chorus came from: One broke me loudly One broke me slow One with a hurricane One with a ghost One relationship taught me to fear conflict. The other taught me to fear emotional distance. One made me hyperaware of what might be said next. The other made me hyperaware of what wasn't being said at all. And somehow, both left me questioning myself.
That's why the line, “One taught me fear of chaos One taught me fear of peace.” became the heart of this song. After experiencing obvious chaos, quiet initially felt like relief. But after experiencing emotional withdrawal, quiet could start feeling threatening too. Suddenly I was left wondering what love was actually supposed to feel like. This song isn't about comparing two people or deciding that two completely different relationships caused identical harm. It's about recognizing two different ways I learned to abandon my own needs in order to preserve connection.
With one, I learned to shrink to avoid the storm. With the other, I learned to reach harder into the silence. One overwhelmed me with chaos. The other left me starving for certainty. And neither one taught my body what I actually want love to feel like. That's where the ending changes everything. I don't want passion without safety. But I don't want peace that is really emotional absence either. I don't want love that explodes. I don't want love that disappears. I want something steady and emotionally present. Something where honesty isn't dangerous, communication isn't something I have to beg for, and closeness doesn't require me to lose myself. I survived the shouting. I survived the hush. Now I'm learning that healthy love doesn't have to sound like either one.
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