Return to Sender · Track 11
For when someone wanted you to act taken while keeping themselves free to call you single whenever it benefited them.
Inside this song
How could I betray an agreement you never actually asked me to make?
You can't be expected to follow relationship rules that were never mutually defined. Exclusivity, commitment, and boundaries require clear communication and agreement from both people. Someone else's unspoken expectations don't automatically become promises you broke.
“You don’t get girlfriend standards When you won’t claim the role”
For when you realize they wanted all the security of your commitment without ever giving you the clarity of theirs.
Read the full storyLyric sheet
Verse 1 You say I should’ve known better But you never said my name Kept me in the maybe While you played it safe You wanted loyalty without a label Rules without a ring You wanted me to wait in silence While you did your thing You say I was “still around them” Like that makes me untrue But you never made me yours So what was I supposed to do?
Pre-Chorus You can’t hide me in the dark Then get mad when I still glow You don’t get girlfriend standards When you won’t claim the role
Chorus You say I’m not loyal But you never chose me Wanted girlfriend energy While you stayed low-key You say “we weren’t official” But only when it’s you Funny how that rule changes Depending who it suits If you didn’t want them looking You should’ve stood beside me Don’t blame me for the space You refused to define me You can’t play both sides Then call me untrue That double standard’s loud And I see straight through you
Verse 2 I wasn’t sneaking, I was honest They were friends, that’s all While you were heart-reacting Girls you’d never call You say “I wasn’t chasing” But your DMs say different Funny how your silence Always comes with fingerprints You wanted access without commitment Control without a name But somehow I’m the villain For not playing your game
Pre-Chorus You don’t get to rewrite history Just ‘cause your pride got bruised You don’t get to shame my freedom When you were using yours too
Chorus You say I’m not loyal But you never chose me Wanted girlfriend energy While you stayed low-key You say “we weren’t official” Like that excuses you But the second I live my life It’s a problem too If you didn’t want attention on me You should’ve stood beside me Don’t hide me like a secret Then act surprised when I’m not quietly waiting You can’t play both sides Then call me untrue That double standard’s loud And it sounds just like you
Bridge You don’t get exclusivity Without clarity You don’t get loyalty Without safety You don’t get to keep your options While policing mine That’s not love That’s control dressed up as “timing” I would’ve chosen you If you had chosen me I would’ve closed every door If you’d handed me the key
Final Chorus So don’t say I wasn’t loyal When you never made me yours You can’t ask for devotion Then keep me behind closed doors You say “we weren’t together” But only when it helps you win You don’t get to bend the truth Just to fit your narrative in If you wanted commitment You should’ve spoken up Don’t punish me for clarity When you lived in “just enough” I see the double standard now I won’t carry it for you You don’t get my loyalty Without choosing me too
Outro Next time you want devotion Say it loud, say it clean Don’t call a woman disloyal For refusing to be unseen
About the song
For when someone wanted you to act taken while keeping themselves free to call you single whenever it benefited them.
The story behind
“Pick a Side” is about refusing to accept relationship expectations from someone who refuses to actually be in a relationship. I wrote this song because I experienced one of the most confusing double standards in dating: someone wanting the loyalty, exclusivity, and devotion of a committed relationship while refusing to actually commit. He wanted girlfriend treatment. Without making me his girlfriend. He wanted me to act like I was chosen while keeping me in a gray area where he could avoid the responsibility of choosing me whenever it benefited him.
For a while, I could interpret jealousy or possessiveness as evidence that someone cared. If he doesn't want me with anyone else, he must really want me. But eventually I realized those aren't necessarily the same thing. Someone can be afraid of losing access to you without being willing to give you the security, clarity, and commitment you're asking for. The line, “You don’t get girlfriend standards When you won’t claim the role.” became the heart of this song. Because loyalty isn't something you demand from someone while keeping them in limbo. It's something two people build and agree to together. I would've chosen him. I would've closed every other door. But he never handed me the key. Instead, I felt expected to live by rules that didn't seem to apply equally. “We weren't official” could explain his freedom, but somehow the same undefined relationship could still be used to question mine. And that's where I finally had to pick a side. Either we're both single, or we're building a relationship. Either we're both free to make our own choices, or we've mutually agreed to exclusivity. You can't use ambiguity as freedom for yourself and commitment for me. That's not clarity. That's a double standard.
The bridge says: “You don’t get exclusivity Without clarity.” And that's probably the biggest lesson I took from the relationship. I value loyalty deeply. If I'm committed to someone, I want to protect that relationship. But commitment requires communication. It requires two people deciding what they're building and what the boundaries are. I can't break an agreement someone never asked me to make and then carry shame for failing to read their mind. This song isn't about revenge. It's about clarity. It's about realizing that my loyalty is valuable. I don't need to prove how devoted I can be to someone who keeps me hidden in a maybe. I don't need to provide all the security of commitment while receiving none of it myself.
Real commitment requires courage. It requires honesty. It requires someone being willing to say: “I'm choosing you.” And from now on, that's where my loyalty belongs. With someone who chooses me clearly and openly, not someone who wants all the benefits of commitment without accepting the responsibility that comes with it. If you want devotion, pick a side. And if you want me, choose me.
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