I Loved You While You Were Leaving · Track 01
For when their distance made you chase harder, and you kept trying to become enough for someone who was afraid of getting close.
Inside this song
Why did their distance make me try even harder to prove I was worth choosing?
Someone pulling away can activate the urge to try harder, become easier, or prove your worth. But closeness isn’t something you should have to earn by shrinking yourself. Their capacity to show up is not a measurement of how lovable you are.
“I was almost loved, almost safe Almost seen, till I took up space”
For when you realize you were both afraid of love in different ways: they protected themselves with distance while you protected yourself by holding on tighter.
Read the full storyLyric sheet
Verse 1] You gave just enough to keep me holding on Sweet when I pulled away, cold when I leaned too strong Every time I'd get fed up, you'd become what I'd been needing Then disappear again, right when I started believing You said laughter heals but used it like a blade Mocked my trauma with a grin, and watched my heart fade I spoke my truth, you made it mine to blame Flipped it all around so I'd feel ashamed
[Chorus] I was almost loved, almost safe Almost seen, till I took up space I held your ego while mine broke in silence You feared closeness, I feared the quiet We were both running, just not the same Me from goodbye, you from anything that stayed Was it fear, or did you just not care? I begged to feel wanted - you just weren't there
[Verse 2] I asked to be friends just to feel less used You said you didn't want to lose me, but you still refused No answers, just jokes, then silence again You kept me close enough to claim, but too far to defend I never knew if I scared you or bored you If loving me felt too close, or if you just ignored truth I gave my heart, you gave me pause I needed presence, but you needed walls
[Chorus] I was almost loved, almost whole Almost chosen, till I lost control I built you up while I fell apart You needed worship, I just wanted heart We were both running, tangled in pain Me from being left, you from anything that stays Was I too much or were you too scared? I begged to feel loved - you just weren't there
[Bridge] You primed me for comfort, then punished my needs Said I was intense while you fed your feed Liking girls who never knew your name While I cried, hoping you'd change I broke my own rules to feel like enough While you took my softness and called it "too much" But love doesn't vanish when it's real And silence is louder than words ever will
[Final Chorus] I was almost loved - but almost still aches Almost chosen - still feels like a fake You feared being seen, I feared being replaced But I'm done with half-love in a hollow space We were both running, but I stopped today I'll find someone who shows up and stays You don't deserve the love I gave And I'll never settle for almost again
[Outro] I begged to feel wanted - now I want me. You never could hold what you couldn't be.
About the song
For when their distance made you chase harder, and you kept trying to become enough for someone who was afraid of getting close.
The story behind
I wrote Almost Loved about the kind of relationship that gives you just enough to keep believing more is coming.
Whenever I started pulling away, I would suddenly get the version of him I had been waiting for. The warmth would come back, I’d feel hopeful again, and then as soon as I leaned into it, the distance returned. That inconsistency kept me questioning everything. I couldn’t tell whether he was afraid of closeness, simply didn’t want me enough, or cared in a way that could never meet what I needed.
And because I kept trying to understand him, I started turning the questions toward myself. Was I too emotional? Too needy? Too intense? Was I asking for something unreasonable? Eventually I realized the answer almost didn’t matter. Whatever his reasons were, I was living on almost. Almost chosen. Almost safe. Almost loved. And I didn’t want to spend my life trying to turn someone’s almost into enough.
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