Unsent Letters · Track 49
For when you stop comparing yourself to who comes next and start feeling compassion for the version of yourself who once stood there too.
Inside this song
What if she gets the version of him I spent so long waiting for?
If he loves someone differently someday, it doesn’t mean she was more worthy or that you were the reason he couldn’t love you well. People can grow, change, or show up differently in different relationships, but none of that rewrites what you experienced. You deserved honesty, consistency, and care when you were there too. His future growth is not proof that you were the problem.
“Please remember someone’s choices are not a measure of your heart”
For when you stop seeing the woman who comes next as competition and start recognizing the hope you once carried in her place.
Read the full storyLyric sheet
Verse 1 You're probably sitting where I sat Looking at his name light up your phone Thinking maybe this time it's different Maybe this time you've finally found home
He's probably telling you you're special In that way that makes your chest cave in And you're thinking all the things I thought Before I learned how stories end
Pre-Chorus And I know you won't believe me 'Cause I didn't either then
Chorus If I could talk to her I'd tell her, "Baby, run" Not because you're hard to love Not because you're not enough
I'd tell her, "Please don't spend your heart Trying to fix what he's become" Some lessons take a thousand tears Some wounds take years to overcome
And if I could save you from the hurt God knows I'd try to do it first But nobody could've warned me then And I don't know if you'll listen now
So all I can do is sing this song And hope you get out
Verse 2 You'll start making little excuses For things that never felt quite right You'll call it fear, you'll call it timing You'll call red flags a troubled life
You'll become an expert translator Of words that never match his deeds You'll shrink yourself to keep the peace And call survival what you need
Pre-Chorus And one day you'll wake up wondering Why you've forgotten what you need
Chorus If I could talk to her I'd tell her, "Baby, run" Not because you're hard to love Not because you're not enough
I'd tell her, "Please don't lose yourself Trying to be somebody he wants" The hardest thing you'll ever learn Is love can't make somebody honest
And if I could save you from the hurt God knows I'd take it all instead But every woman has a chapter Where she mistakes hope for a hand
And thinks if she loves enough The story changes in the end
Bridge So when he leaves you questioning Every beautiful thing you are Please remember someone's choices Are not a measure of your heart
And when you're staring at the wreckage Wondering what you couldn't do
The answer is the same one I wish somebody told me too
Final Chorus If I could talk to her I'd tell her what I needed most
That love should never feel like waiting For somebody who won't choose
That peace is worth more than potential And clarity is worth the truth
And one day you'll stop missing him The way you miss a storm that's through
You'll just be grateful that you survived The version of yourself you outgrew
And if I could talk to her
I'd tell her she's gonna be okay
Even if she doesn't believe me yet.
About the song
For when you stop comparing yourself to who comes next and start feeling compassion for the version of yourself who once stood there too.
The story behind
“If I Could Talk to Her” is about the conversation I wish I could have with the woman standing where I once stood. Not because I know her story. But because I know mine. I wrote this song after realizing that healing changed the way I thought about the person who came after me. At first, it was easy to compare. What does she have that I didn't? Will he choose her differently? Will she get the version of him I spent so long waiting for? Eventually, I stopped asking those questions and started remembering the beginning of my own story. I remembered how hopeful I was. How every promise felt different. How every red flag seemed to have an explanation. How I slowly learned to translate inconsistency into “he's just scared,” distance into “he needs time,” and confusion into “love is complicated.” I've lived that chapter.
And that's why this song isn't about warning another woman because I think she's weak, naive, or destined to repeat my experience. I don't know her story, and I don't pretend to. It's about remembering what it felt like when hope made me believe love could heal someone who wasn't ready to do their own healing. The line, “If I could talk to her I’d tell her, ‘Baby, run.’” isn't coming from anger. It's coming from compassion. Because if someone had tried to warn me back then, I probably wouldn't have believed them either. I would've had explanations. I would've remembered every good moment. I would've believed my relationship was different because, from inside it, it felt different. Some lessons can't be borrowed. They have to be lived. And that's part of what this song eventually taught me too: I can't rewrite someone else's story just because I recognize pieces of my own in it. Maybe her experience will be completely different. Maybe people change. Maybe they don't. That's no longer something I need to predict. What I can do is take what my own experience taught me and turn it into something useful.
I can say that someone's choices are not a measure of your heart. I can say that love shouldn't require you to slowly disappear in order to keep it. I can say that peace is worth more than potential. And I can say that loving someone deeply doesn't make you responsible for becoming the person who finally heals them.
This song isn't about competing with another woman. It isn't about hoping she gets hurt so my experience can feel validated. And it isn't about needing her relationship to eventually prove that I was right. It's about letting go of the belief that someone else's place is evidence of my worth. In the end, I can't save another woman from a story I don't know she'll ever live. I can only tell mine. And maybe the person I'm really talking to in this song isn't her at all. Maybe I'm talking to the version of myself who once sat where I imagine she might be sitting. The girl who believed harder love could create a different ending. The girl who kept translating red flags into reasons to stay. The girl who desperately needed someone to tell her: You are not hard to love. You are not failing because you cannot heal someone else. And someone's choices are not a measure of your heart. I can't go back and tell her. But I can sing it now.
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