Caitlin Beadles ♡
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You Don't Get Access artwork

You Don't Get Access

For when you realize they loved having access to you more than they ever loved showing up for you.

0:00—:—

A gentle map of what this song holds ♡

Emotional question
Did they love me, or did they love everything I gave them?
What you may need to hear

Being generous with someone doesn’t give them unlimited access to you. You’re allowed to recognize when your love was being taken without being reciprocated and decide they don’t get access anymore.

Featured lyric
“You didn’t love me, You just loved what I gave, And I hate that I stayed long enough, To watch myself fade”
From the song story

For when you realize being needed, wanted, and given access was never the same thing as being chosen.

Read the full story

Lyrics

Scroll inside the lyric sheet to keep reading ♡

You walked in like you owned it
 Every corner, every key
 turned my home into a habit 
Like it didn’t belong to me You’d reach for what was mine
 Like it was yours to take 
Never asked, never replaced 
Never fixed what you’d break

Everything I gave so freely Blurred together into one Like my body wasn’t sacred, like my giving was your fun You took without a question
 Like I owed you oxygen
 And I stayed there second guessing
 What I knew within

Pre-Chorus 
I tried to trust my body but you rewrote what was real
 Said I was overthinking what I knew I could feel

Chorus
 You used me like a shelter, like a place to land at night
 Like my love was just a resource you could drain and call it right
You took my time, my body, my forgiveness, my peace 
And I kept on giving pieces hoping you’d finally see me But you didn’t love me
 You just loved what I gave
 And I hate that I stayed long enough 
To watch myself fade

Verse 2
 You’d show up when you needed, disappear when I did too 
I was never your decision, just convenient to you 
Late night like a fallback when the world didn’t reply
 And I let you in my bed while you kept me out your life You took my softness like it was something I owed 
Took my patience like a place you could unload 
Took my healing, I was finally learning me
 And you turned it into something I couldn’t even believe

Pre-Chorus
 You never said it straight to me, just hid it in between And my body kept on screaming what you wouldn’t let me see

Chorus 
You used me like a shelter, like a place to land at night 
Like my love was just a resource you could drain and call it right
You took my food, my energy, my spirit, my trust
 And I kept on pouring into someone empty of us You didn’t choose me
You just knew I would stay 
And that’s the kind of damage
 That rewires your brain

Bridge 
I wasn’t crazy 
I wasn’t wrong 
I wasn’t asking you for too much all along You took and took and took from me
 Then told me I was hard to please 
But loving you was costing me 
My sanity And that’s the part I can’t undo, 
I almost stopped believing me for you

Final Chorus 
You used me like a shelter, like a body, like a home
 Like I was something temporary you could pick up when alone
You took my youth, my safety, my ability to trust
 And I’m the one still healing from the weight of us But I see it clearer now
I feel it in my bones
 I was never asking too much 
I was just asking the wrong one

Outro 
You don’t get my softness anymore
 You don’t get access like before
 What you took, I’m taking back 
You don’t get to love me like that

You Don't Get Access

For when you realize they loved having access to you more than they ever loved showing up for you.

You Don't Get Access

"You Don't Get Access", is about realizing I wasn't loved the way I thought I was. For a long time, I confused being needed with being chosen. I kept believing that if I loved harder, gave more, stayed patient, and understood enough, eventually the relationship would become mutual. Instead, I slowly realized I had become someone's safe place without ever truly becoming their priority.

This song is about what it feels like when someone takes your kindness for granted. When they come to you for comfort, support, forgiveness, a place to land, a body to hold, and someone to carry their burdens, but disappear the moment you need the same in return. It's about the kind of relationship where you slowly stop trusting yourself because you're constantly told your needs are "too much," while yours are the only needs being ignored.

The hardest part wasn't just what was taken. It was how normal it became. By the time I realized how much of myself I'd been giving away, I barely recognized the person I'd become. This song is about reclaiming that person.

It's about learning that love shouldn't leave you feeling drained, confused, or disposable. It shouldn't make you question your reality or convince you that asking for reciprocity is asking for too much. The final chorus isn't about revenge. It's about finally understanding that I wasn't asking for more than anyone could give. I was simply asking the wrong person. And sometimes healing begins the moment you stop trying to convince someone to value what they were always willing to consume.

You don’t have to carry it alone.

Step into a gentle conversation about what this song brought up for you. Share your story, listen without judgment, and leave a little hope for someone else.

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