Caitlin Beadles ♡
healing
looks good
on you. ♡
Caitlin Beadles
Listen to released musicwelcome to

The Music Room ♡

All of my music. All in one place.

Songs, stories, lyrics, and the in-between. A space to feel, heal, and find what you need.

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Songs for what you need

Pretending I’m Okay

Believe Me artworkBelieve Me“Don’t mistake the mask for healing, Or the smile I forced in place.”Listen & read →Silence Was Safer Than Truth artworkSilence Was Safer Than Truth“Silence was safer than the truth, But I’ve burned through the lies I mistook for proof.”Listen & read →Nobody Can Know artworkNobody Can Know“I preach self-worth and I mean it too, except when I’m tangled up with you”Listen & read →Put Together artworkPut Together“I’m misunderstood in high-def, seen by all, but known by none”Listen & read →Invisible War artworkInvisible War“I look fine but I’m breaking inside, Living a life where my body and mind collide”Listen & read →PTSD artworkPTSD“You say control it with my mind, But my body’s screaming every time”Listen & read →Your Terms artworkYour Terms“You built the ending in your head while I was still trying to begin”Listen & read →Don't Let Me Drown artworkDon't Let Me Drown“I’m barely holding onto sound I don’t need fixing, just stay around”Listen & read →

Start Here ♡

Not sure what to play first? These are a few songs I’d start with.
Dear Drew artworkCame Back WrongDear DrewFor when you stop trying to understand why they couldn’t love you differently and finally decide that what they gave you wasn’t enough.Listen & read →The Dance artworkConditioned to StayThe DanceFor when their distance makes you chase harder, but the moment you pull away, they reach for you again.Listen & read →Low Stakes artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingLow StakesFor when they wanted connection as long as it never became deep enough to require them to stay.Listen & read →A Love He Didn't Know artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingA Love He Didn't KnowFor when you understood their wounds so deeply that you kept explaining away the ways loving them was wounding you.Listen & read →Fell For It Again artworkCame Back WrongFell For It AgainFor the part of you that keeps falling for the hopeful moment instead of trusting the pattern.Listen & read →Half Of Me Still Stays artworkUnsent LettersHalf Of Me Still StaysFor when your head has accepted the ending, but your attachment is still holding onto the person your heart learned to call home.Listen & read →You Don't Get To Miss Me artworkReturn to SenderYou Don't Get To Miss MeFor when you spent so long disappearing to keep them that healing finally means deciding they don’t get access to you anymore.Listen & read →You Had To Make Me Small artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingYou Had To Make Me SmallFor when the things they once loved about you became “too much” the moment closeness started asking more of them.Listen & read →Didn't Leave artworkConditioned to StayDidn't LeaveFor the part of you that learned to mistake someone staying for someone truly showing up.Listen & read →I Loved You While You Were Leaving artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingI Loved You While You Were LeavingFor when you realize you were still fighting for the relationship while they were already learning how to leave it.Listen & read →Silence Was Safer Than Truth artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingSilence Was Safer Than TruthFor when staying connected felt safer than telling the truth, so you kept swallowing your needs until you could barely hear yourself anymore.Listen & read →Nobody Can Know artworkCame Back WrongNobody Can KnowFor when you’ve learned all the lessons, built all the boundaries, and still find yourself wanting the one thing you know you’ve outgrown.Listen & read →PTSD artworkScars You Can’t SeePTSDFor when your life looks safe now, but your body is still responding to everything it had to survive.Listen & read →You Didn't Even Try artworkCame Back WrongYou Didn't Even TryFor when they came back wanting access to you, but still weren’t willing to choose you.Listen & read →I Felt Everything artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingI Felt EverythingFor when you were called too sensitive so often that you almost stopped trusting how deeply you were experiencing what was happening.Listen & read →Last Call artworkCame Back WrongLast CallFor when you realize being their late-night comfort was never the same as being their first choice.Listen & read →The Shouting And The Hush artworkUnsent LettersThe Shouting And The HushFor when one relationship taught you to brace for chaos and another taught you not to trust the quiet.Listen & read →You Took The Easy Way Out artworkCame Back WrongYou Took The Easy Way OutFor when you stop wondering what someone else had that you didn’t, and realize the relationship may have simply asked for more depth than they were willing to give.Listen & read →Full Story artworkScars You Can’t SeeFull StoryFor when people know pieces of your life, but they don’t know the full story of everything it took for you to still be here.Listen & read →I Loved You Anyway artworkUnsent LettersI Loved You AnywayFor the part of you that loved them deeply, even after you knew love couldn’t make it work.Listen & read →You Had It Easy artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingYou Had It EasyFor when you realize they had already started letting go while you were still loving the relationship like it could be saved.Listen & read →Almost Loved artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingAlmost LovedFor when their distance made you chase harder, and you kept trying to become enough for someone who was afraid of getting close.Listen & read →I Would Have Loved You There artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingI Would Have Loved You ThereFor when you would’ve loved every part they were afraid to show you, but you couldn’t convince them they were safe enough to be seen.Listen & read →Easy Out artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingEasy OutFor when you gave them every chance to leave honestly, but they kept giving you reasons to stay.Listen & read →Too Quiet artworkConditioned to StayToo QuietFor when healthy love feels strangely quiet because your body learned to recognize chaos as connection.Listen & read →Came Back Wrong artworkCame Back WrongCame Back WrongFor the part of you that mistook someone coming back for proof they had changed.Listen & read →You Don't Know artworkUnsent LettersYou Don't KnowFor when they’ve left your everyday life but somehow still occupy almost every quiet corner of your mind.Listen & read →Building A Future Without Me artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingBuilding A Future Without MeFor when you realize you were still building a future together while they were quietly learning how to leave it.Listen & read →Came Back Like You Meant It artworkCame Back WrongCame Back Like You Meant ItFor when they came back like they were choosing you while hiding the truth that would’ve made you walk away.Listen & read →Came Back While Lying artworkCame Back WrongCame Back While LyingFor when they came back knowing the truth would’ve changed whether you let them touch you at all.Listen & read →Cry Like A Boy artworkReturn to SenderCry Like A BoyFor when someone finally gets a taste of the same mixed signals, ghosting, and games they once handed out so easily.Listen & read →What Kind Of Man Does That? artworkCame Back WrongWhat Kind Of Man Does That?For the part of you left questioning reality after someone knowingly let you make choices without the truth.Listen & read →Red Flags artworkReturn to SenderRed FlagsFor when you’re finally more interested in protecting your peace than decoding another person’s red flags.Listen & read →I Knew ( But I Stayed ) artworkConditioned to StayI Knew ( But I Stayed )For when you knew something wasn’t right, but kept explaining it away because accepting the truth meant having to leave.Listen & read →If Silence Could Speak artworkCame Back WrongIf Silence Could SpeakFor when you realized doing nothing was still communicating something, and their silence kept saying what their words wouldn’t.Listen & read →If I Let You In artworkConditioned to StayIf I Let You InFor the part of you that wants closeness, but still gets scared when someone gets close enough to matter.Listen & read →Losing You Either Way artworkCame Back WrongLosing You Either WayFor when staying connected feels like losing yourself, but letting go feels like losing a part of yourself too.Listen & read →Crumbs and Red Flags artworkConditioned to StayCrumbs and Red FlagsFor when you realize you weren’t holding onto the relationship as much as you were holding onto the hope that being chosen would finally make you feel worthy.Listen & read →Convenience artworkCame Back WrongConvenienceFor when you realize they kept you close because they knew you’d always be there, not because they were truly choosing you.Listen & read →My Head Knows Better artworkCame Back WrongMy Head Knows BetterFor when you can see every reason to leave, but knowing better still doesn’t make your heart let go.Listen & read →Unprotected artworkI Loved You While You Were LeavingUnprotectedFor when you let someone know the most unprotected parts of you, only to feel them slowly stop choosing what they once held so carefully.Listen & read →Two Endings artworkCame Back WrongTwo EndingsFor when they left the door open just enough to make you grieve the ending twice.Listen & read →Familiar Hurt artworkConditioned to StayFamiliar HurtFor when your mind knows the pattern hurts you, but your body still reaches for it because familiar pain feels more predictable than unfamiliar safety.Listen & read →Easier To Love You From Far Away artworkConditioned to StayEasier To Love You From Far AwayFor when you realize loving someone unavailable felt safer because their distance meant you never had to risk being fully known.Listen & read →New Map artworkConditioned to StayNew MapFor when your old patterns still feel familiar, but you’re finally learning that fear doesn’t have to choose the road for you.Listen & read →Unfinished Equation artworkReturn to SenderUnfinished EquationFor when you realize you’re not only struggling to let go of the person, you’re struggling to let go of the answer you never received.Listen & read →You Don't Get Access artworkCame Back WrongYou Don't Get AccessFor when you realize they loved having access to you more than they ever loved showing up for you.Listen & read →

Explore collections

Different chapters. Same you. ♡
View all →
🪢Attachment & Trauma BondsFor patterns that are hard to break.Explore songs →🪞Betrayal & DeceptionFor discovering the truth and rebuilding trust in yourself.Explore songs →🎀Surviving & ReclaimingFor surviving what happened and finding your voice again.Explore songs →🫧The Battles No One SeesFor the things you carry that others may not see.Explore songs →💔Love, Loss & Letting GoFor heartbreak, grief, missing them and moving forward.Explore songs →🌸Coming Home to YourselfFor rebuilding self-trust, worth and identity.Explore songs →✝️Faith in the Hard PlacesFor finding hope through difficult chapters.Explore songs →🌿Healing Isn't LinearFor becoming, rebuilding and learning to trust the process.Explore songs →🌊Life, Meaning & BecomingFor finding yourself and your next chapter.Explore songs →🏠The Things We Learned at HomeFor family patterns, childhood wounds and what you are unlearning.Explore songs →

All albums

Every era. Every chapter. Every part of the story. ♡
View all →
Welcome Inside My Mind coverWelcome Inside My Mind15 songsConditioned to Stay coverConditioned to Stay41 songsI Loved You While You Were Leaving coverI Loved You While You Were Leaving38 songsCame Back Wrong coverCame Back Wrong23 songsReturn to Sender coverReturn to Sender33 songsUnsent Letters coverUnsent Letters47 songsCase Closed coverCase Closed8 songsScars You Can’t See coverScars You Can’t See9 songsHOPE — Hold On, Pain Ends coverHOPE — Hold On, Pain EndsSongs coming soongood songs
take time ♡More to ComeNew music always in the works

Go deeper

Awareness Projects

Some stories deserve more than a song.
Case Closed awareness project

Case Closed

Abuse & Sexual Assault Awareness

A music project about consent, survival, self-blame, and what comes after. Songs, personal stories, resources, and more.

Enter Case Closed →Caitlin meditating calmly with fire glowing behind her

Attachment Awareness

Understanding the Patterns We Bring Into Love

Songs about why we chase, pull away, stay, and sometimes struggle to trust healthy love.

Explore Attachment Awareness →

Press play on what you need

Featured playlists

🫶For the Anxiously AttachedFor the part of you waiting for reassurance.▶↔️Songs for When They Pull AwayFor distance, uncertainty, and unanswered questions.▶🧱When Closeness Makes You RunFor wanting love while your protective side reaches for distance.▶↩️When You Keep Going BackFor understanding the pull toward familiar love.▶🪢Breaking the Trauma BondSongs for loosening what has been hard to leave.▶🚩Red Flags You Tried to Explain AwayFor seeing clearly what you once minimized.▶🤍Learning Secure LoveFor practicing safety, trust, and steadiness.▶🌱Songs for SurvivorsFor finding your voice and choosing yourself.▶❔When You Blame YourselfFor the questions and guilt that were never yours.▶🎤Reclaiming My VoiceFor speaking the truth you once had to swallow.▶〰️Healing Isn’t LinearFor the days progress does not look like a straight line.▶🧸Healing Your Inner ChildFor comforting the younger parts of you and unlearning what hurt.▶🫥Invisible BattlesFor the pain other people cannot always see.▶🕊️Moving OnFor releasing what no longer gets to hold you.▶✝️Faith in the Middle of PainFor holding onto faith through the hardest chapters.▶
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Caitlin meditating calmly with fire glowing behind her

Every song. Every story. One library.

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